Given A Choice
by SkittleBunny117
Summary: This young Foot ninja has had enough of giant turtles, is this really who he wants to be? Bad summaries are bad. Rated for swearing. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT

A/N: It's been a long time and I feel terrible about it. So I hope this makes up for my absence. Please enjoy! :D ...oh, and I don't know Japanese. Any Japanese is via Google translate... sorry for any inaccuracies.

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><p>I watch in utter boredom as four giant green turtles come out of the shadows and begin to beat the hell out of us. I, for one, have had enough of this… not just getting beat by <em>them <em>but of the fighting and death, of murderous intent and back stabbing, of greed– ok maybe not greed. Truth be told I've lost all interest in this fight, it is never ending and from what I see it never will.

"Draw your sword damn it!" That would be George, well his name is not really George it's Fred-shime, Fred-unph- Fred- oh whatever! I call him George for obvious reasons… plus it really pisses the guy off.

"God damn it! Draw your-" a green flash goes past so close I could reach out and touch it. I can even feel the wind as it passes by, ignoring me for the moment like a rock in a stream.

'Draw your sword' he said, it never really crossed my mind. Do I have a death wish? Possibly, but I fear no death from the turtles. It's not that they couldn't but that they wouldn't kill me if at all possible. I always found that odd, I mean we're their enemies, shouldn't they want us gone? Until tonight that is, it's like for the first time I'm seeing them in a new light. They're not like what the Master would want us to believe; they're not blood thirsty beasts or vicious killers that always interfere with _our _plans. If anything he is describing what the Foot Clan has become. No better than the thugs we associate with.

A stinging pain on my cheek snaps me back to reality. I stumble a few steps back and slap my hand to my face in shock. A good thing too as the point of a katana clangs to the roof top just inches from my toes. A black clad ninja thumps without a whisper beside his fallen sword and doesn't rise again.

Instinctively I pull out my own sword from its sheath on my back allowing the tip of the blade to sink to the roof. It feels like it weights a thousand pounds… how many souls have I reaped with this blade? How many will never open their eyes or take a breath of air? Too many to count. Suddenly every bone in my body seems to creek and it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. As if I've grown far beyond my years.

"MIKEY GOT MOVES, MIKEY GOT GAME, MIKEY IN THE ZOOOONE!"

"WE GET IT SHELL-FER-BRAINS! NOW WHY DON'TCHA BRING SOMMA YER _ZONE _OVER HERE?!"

"AWWWW, IS RAPHY HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH A COUPLE OF FOOT?"

"I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FOOT!"

"GUYS FOCUS!"

Geez they're so loud! So loud and obnoxious to each other let alone their enemies. And yet time and again we lose to them, are always one step behind. We who are silent as the night, vigilant as birds of prey and as vicious as a pack of hungry wolfs can never seem to smash them, to bring them down like so many before. It doesn't make any sense… perhaps we have become so entrenched in our ways that we can no longer adapt to new threats. How sad.

Suddenly one of the turtles moves my way, weapons drawn, posed to strike me down. I don't know what makes me do it. What makes me release my grip on the only thing that could protect me from this oncoming attack? I let my katana clang to the ground. It happens in slow motion, the figure running at me not slowing down not wavering from his task. After all he has to protect his comrades from… me.

I realize just then that we have become- no that _I_ have become the monster, the thing that goes bump in the night. That not only scares children but full grown men. And that scares me above all else.

"I'm done! Just done, done, done!" the scream is ripped from me. The turtle's sword stops inches from my face. I stare at the point at first, realizing how close death had been and still could be if he lunged. The sword is unmoving, unaffected by anything around it as if its sole purpose is to root us to this one place.

I take my eyes off the deadly weapon point and stare into the eyes of the turtle opposite me. There is confusion and the slightest hint of hesitation. Damn I'm losing it.

"It speaks! The end is nigh!" What the hell was that? I watch in utter disbelief as the nunchuck wielder throws his arms around the bo wielder.

"Do you even know what 'nigh' means Mikey?"

"Yes I do Donny." The nunchuck wielder, 'Mikey', puts his hands on his hips and pouts. "It means the end." he sounds so sure.

"Close enough." The bo wielder sighs.

"What are we going to do with it, Leo? It's not like we can just let this Foot scum walk back to his master for round two!" the sai wielder demands.

It , it, it! I am not just a thing or just a Foot ninja I have an identity too. And it's obvious what gender I am: male, god damn it, male! Wait, did he say send me back to my master? No, that is not a good idea! Definitely not, for if it ever came out that I did nothing to bring down the turtles he would kill me! I desperately refocus my attention on the katana wielder as the point of his sword is still in my face.

"Raph that is not helpful and does nothing to solve the problem at hand." The blue one, 'Leo', says exasperatedly. The red one cracks his knuckles in the background.

Wait, what? I missed something important didn't I? Crap, crap, crap! Pay attention stupid! Your life is in their three fingered hands!

DONNY: "Even for you that's a bit much."

RAPH: "Whatever." Shrugs. "We at least hafta knock him out then."

LEO: Rolls eyes. "Is that your answer to everything?"

RAPH: Points finger at Leo, "It wouldn' be my answer if ya'd knocked him out in the first place!"

LEO: Looks at Raph. "Don't you notice anything Raph? The Foot clan may give ninjas a bad name everywhere-"

Okay that one hurt! You do know I'm standing right here right? Guys? Right?

LEO: "-but at least they know not to drop their weapons in the middle of battle!"

RAPH: Crosses arms. "So what? That still doesn't explain why you didn't just-"

LEO:"Don't you think it's odd that he would drop his katana when his enemy was coming full on? Don't you think it strange that he would speak, that he would break the silence that every Foot prides themselves on?"

RAPH: "No…"

LEO: "No." sighs. "Of course not."

RAPH: Points at me angrily. "He's nothing but some wuss Foot scum that's trying to get out of a fight! Cronies like him are too stupid to think up some complex masquerade!"

I'M NOT A WUSS! I'M NOT SCUM, A CRONIE OR STUPID! I'M NOT! CLOSE THAT OBNOXIOUS BEAK OF YOUR'S! STOP TALKING! YOUR NOTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING! STOP ACTING LIKE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU! STOP! JUST STOP… I AM NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT LIKE THEM! I'M NOT **SHUT UP! **I steam, and continue steaming until my heart rate slowly goes back to normal. Though I keep my eyes closed tight to try and keep it there. My breathing calms down a little and I release a long slow breath of air until I'm in control of my lungs again. Jeez, I can't believe that I let him get to me like that. They don't know me, all they see is a Foot Solider before them. They'll never know the real me and so long as I stay with the Foot neither will I.

"Dudes, do you think he can understand us?"

I open my eyes at that. How long was I standing here just trying to get myself under control? Does it matter? Probably not…

They all turn and stare at Mikey.

"What? He's only said one word."

"Yeah and it was in English!" Raph says sounding annoyed.

"Yeah but how do we know if he knows that we know that he's speaking English?"

Donny gets a little amused grin on his face well Raph and Leo just look plain annoyed.

"Mikey."

"What?"

Raph huffs and looks back in my direction. Okay, I wouldn't call it looking more like glaring.

"What's it matter he's just a Foot."

Why, why, _why_, does he keep saying things like that? I clinch my hands into fists and feel the skin break, my arms starting to tremble… I don't care! I open my mouth to tell him exactly what this Foot ninja thinks-

"Guys why don't we just ask him if he understands us?"

But the moment is gone, they have moved on… Leo refocus his attention on me and moves his kataona from my face to my chest.

"Alright then… do you understand what we're saying?"

I open my mouth to say… to say… oh fuck I don't know what to say!

"…"

Damn it just spit it out! Tell them you're not going to hurt them then uuhhh... I don't know! Just say something before they-

"I don't think he understands. Let's try this; あなたは私たちが何を言っている理解していますか？" (do you understand me)

Okay, now I'm lost and it's not my fault this time. What the fuck did he just say? I open my mouth to ask for a translation-

"DO – YOU – UNDERSTAND – US!?"

I snap my head in Mikey's direction and just glare at him. At least give me a chance to answer before you yell at me! I'm not slow I just haven't used my voice in a while…

"Mikey, that's not helping."

"What does it matter? He's just another punk that can't-"

I don't hear the rest, I don't think anyone else does either, because I'm yelling.

"Jesus Christ, would you just give me a chance to answer! I mean, come on, it's not like I get to use me voice very often! And yelling at someone that you think doesn't understand you does not help anybody! I'm not a wuss, stupid or just some Foot ninja without a face! I have a name you know and once I'm out of the clan I'll have a life too! So PISS OFF!" as I say the last words I rip off my mask and throw it on the ground in frustrated anger. That's when it hits me hard; I'm going to leave the clan for good.

"Guess that means I have to leave New York huh?" but I smile slightly anyway, yeah I like this idea. I can start over. Start again in a place where no one knows me. Yeah... that just feels right.

"Why you little…" Raph snarls and lunges at me. I take an involuntary step back and somehow manage to trip over a nunchuck and land on my ass. I don't stop to think I just grab a katana from the ground and use it block the oncoming attack, locking our weapons together, affectively making it impossible for Leo to attack.

"Ya really think yer any better then the rest of those scum bags?" he sneers at me, my back colliding with the roof top.

"No… but one day I hope to be." I huff and grunt, finally managing to get my foot placed firmly on his chest. With one last almighty push I kick him off of me and roll to my left before Leo can pin me down again. Without looking back I run to the edge of the roof top and jump, diving into the river still holding my katana.

EPILOGUE: 23 years later.

Name: John E. Stefan

Age: 42

Hair Colour: sandy brown, cut short

Eye Colour: Brown

Height: 5ft 9in

Weight: 250lbs

Occupation: Photography, Red Cross volunteer, etc.

This is the life I live now though I doubt it will be ever be enough to clean up my past. Hell, I still have nightmares about that time in my life. I think I always will and that's okay. The only regret I have is not being able to tell them… well, to tell them that I got out because of them, that I'm okay. I guess in a way they're like friends I'll never see again and that's okay too. Wish I could thank them… Anyway I met this girl a few years back, her names Milly, we work together on a lot of the same projects and I'm not sure what will come out of this encounter but then again, who does?


End file.
